The number of metaphors I could use to describe the 2025-2026 New England Patriots season is, frankly, embarrassing.They are a fleeting moment of Camusian Bonheur, of transient, solitary happiness that cannot be...
“Going chalk” with your predictions isn’t always the worst play. After all, favorites are favored for a reason, and picking them to win can yield solid results. Particularly with single-elimination brackets like...
I’m really good at the “mental breakdown because my team just inexplicably lost” piece. Some might say I’ve perfected it.It’s a simple recipe: a quarter cup of deadpan explanation of the situation,...
When the New England Patriots drafted Drake Maye, I swore I wouldn’t buy a jersey until he won a playoff game.I was so hurt by Mac Jones. The criterion couldn’t be “make...
Remember the great NFL Conspiracy Theory of 2025, in which Tom Brady was helping the Las Vegas Raiders, a team he had recently purchased 5 percent of, cheat by sending along confidential...
Necessity is the mother of invention. But it’s also the mother of crazy, rash, lunatic solutions to scary-sounding problems. Just ask the Soviet Union how it dealt with foreign debt.NFL teams aren’t...
I say a lot of things on the internet about the Boston Celtics. Not all of it pans out.For instance, I accurately predicted the Celtics would sweep the Indiana Pacers en route...
We may be crossing the event horizon of college football. And like that of a black hole, we’re all going to get spaghettified.No sport — in America or abroad, past or present,...
