The World Cup draw show was the world’s worst, most embarassing, sycophantic mess

The 2026 FIFA World Cup draw aired on Friday, and I’m envious if you didn’t waste your time on the worst sports-adjacent broadcast of all time. It somehow managed to have everything, and nothing — with a two-hour run time which found a way to be devoid of entertainment, and overflowing with cringe embarrassment, culminating with a fake, made-up award so FIFA president Gianni Infantino could curry favor with President Donald Trump in front of a global audience.

It all kicked off with two hosts who had zero chemistry. Heidi Klum, who we assume was picked because she’s a German-American, and Kevin Hart who was chosen because he will accept

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