I don’t know what the hell has been going on over in the Pop-Tart factory, but I don’t want any part of it. What used to be a fun, lighthearted football game to determine which anthropomorphic pastry would be selected for ritualistic sacrifice turned into a hellscape this week with the unveiling of “Protein Slammin’ Strawberry.”
I hate this Pop-Tart Giga Chad with the strength of a thousand suns. Do I think it’s neat there’s a protein Pop-Tart now? Absolutely. Am I excited that there’s a quick throw-together breakfast I can give to my daughter in the car when we’re running behind that doesn’t make he feel like a total
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